How to Talk to Your Teen If You Suspect Drug Misuse

Reading headline after headline about our current opioid epidemic can leave parents feeling frightened and even helpless. But there’s good news: If you think your teen is using and abusing drugs, you can make a difference and you don’t have to break the silence alone. 

The NCADA offers some do's and don'ts for starting the conversation and helping your loved one get back on a healthy path. 

Your first step: Don’t blame yourself. Just because your teen has used drugs or alcohol doesn’t mean that you are a “bad parent” or that they are a “bad kid,” say NCADA. And remember: Your primary goal is to address the unhealthy behavior, express your concern and get him or her professional help.

What to Do...

Take the time to get your thoughts together and decide what you want the outcome of the conversation to be. A few more pointers from the NCADA:

• Stay calm and stick to the facts.
• Express to your child how important your relationship with them is to you. Use “I care” messages.
• Offer examples of specific behaviors that concern you. “Last week, you went from being happy to being extremely crabby without any warning.”
• Discuss how this problem is affecting your relationship: “I feel like I can’t trust you anymore, and I’m afraid to leave you at home by yourself.” 
• Tell your teen what needs to change or what you’d like for them to do: “I want you to start seeing a counselor to get help.”
• Know your limits and recognize when professional help is necessary.

What Not to Do...

Timing is everything, so don’t confront your child when he or she is under the influence or when you or your child is angry. A few more tips, according to NCADA: 

• Don’t label with words like “addict.”
• Don’t argue or debate with your child.
• Don’t feel guilty. 

Opioid Addiction Treatment for Young Adults
Young adults (age 18 to 25) are the biggest abusers of prescription opioid pain relievers, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse. And early intervention is the most successful treatment. If someone you love is struggling with opioid addiction, don’t wait to get help. Call today: 866-930-4673.

Have You Ever Used Drugs?

"Have you ever used drugs?" As a parent, it’s a tough question to answer – but dodging it is not the answer. Instead, you should treat the question with respect, and use it as a teachable moment to open the dialogue with your child about the dangers of substance abuse.

This isn’t to say that it’s going to be easy. You may fear that no matter how carefully you spell out the lessons from your own experiences, you may be implicitly imparting a lesson about lack of consequences? In other words, you experimented with drugs and alcohol and seemingly turned out OK. Or, that your honesty will someday be thrown back in your face; for instance, if you or your child (or both) are dealing with drug and alcohol problems.

But experts argue that it’s important to put these fears aside and address the real issue at hand – why your child is asking this question in the first place. The Medicine Abuse Project, launched by the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, offers the following tips/suggestions.

• Don’t lie. If your child finds out the truth, this can put you at risk of losing your credibility.
• Give an honest answer — but also know that you don’t have to divulge every detail. 
• Ask a lot of questions in order to understand exactly why your child is asking about your drug history.  
• Use this discussion as an opportunity to talk about what tempted you to use drugs, why drugs are dangerous, and why our child should avoid making the same mistakes you made. 

Three Possible Answers About Your Drug Use 
Here are three examples from the Medicine Abuse Project of the tone you can take and wording you can use:

1. “I took drugs because some of my friends used them, and I thought I needed to do the same in order to fit in. In those days, people didn’t know as much as they do now about all the bad things that can happen when you take drugs.” You might even go one step farther and explain how we now have scientific evidence showing that experimenting with drugs and alcohol during adolescence can lead to permanent changes in the way the brain works, including a greater risk of addiction in adulthood. 
2. “Everyone makes mistakes and trying drugs was one of my biggest mistakes ever. I’ll do anything to help you avoid making the same stupid decision that I made when I was your age.” 
3. “I started drinking when I was young and, as you can see, it’s been a battle ever since. Because of my drinking, I missed a big part of growing up, and every day I have to fight with myself so it doesn’t make me miss out on even more — my job, my relationships, and most importantly, my time with you. I love you too much to watch you make the same mistakes I’ve made.”

Getting Help for Your Child

Many young adults are in total denial of their substance abuse problem. Others may cry out for help, but are not clear-headed enough to make decisions about their wellbeing. At Hope Academy, we help parents advocate for their children, so they get the help they need before it is too late.  Call today: 866-930-4673.